Quotes and thoughts on looking at yourself a little differently.
Body Image and Sex
As someone mentioned before, the brain is the greatest sex organ. This has been true for me personally. At the times when I was struggling with selflove and acceptance, I couldn’t even conceive the idea that someone could love or be attracted to me.
So for a long time I sabotaged any possibility of getting emotionally or physically close to someone. My line was, “I don’t want a boyfriend. I’m not ready”. Which was twisted but true. I didn’t love myself so I had no business asking for someone else’s love.
Words are just words until you believe them. Then they become alive with power.
But at a certain point when I became comfortable in my skin and really started liking myself, i felt a palpable change. I began to appreciate compliments more, became more open.
And more importantly the idea of being intimate with someone, sexually or otherwise didn’t repulse me.
The truth is when you spend time judging yourself you project these same negative thoughts to your partner. You assume everyone is judging you in the same way. Which is so not true!
I don’t know much, but for me sex is an exchange, it’s a sharing and you cheat your partner when you hold back.
The quote below illustrates how this can play out:
In my late teen years, I occasionally engaged in relationships that I didn’t particularly want to be in …because I felt lucky that somebody would be interested in me in spite of my body. Now I am with a great guy who is attracted to me for many reasons, but partly because of my body
The damage can be more than unwanted relationships. It can lead to worst case, abuse or violence. Or more subtle things that you ignore. And on the other end of the spectrum is denial and pushing away people who genuinely care about you.
I support this fact, because the thoughts you have about yourself are very powerful and they manifest as you live your daily life. As I grew up as a teenager, I looked really small physically, even now😁. I lived with the thought that finding someone who will love this tiny me would be a difficult task. Sometimes I said it in the open just to hear what others thought. It helped me realize later that I judged myself wrongly. I used to be like “No, sex is out of the question! God I’m too tiny” but as I studied my sexuality, I smiled. I have a right over my body, it’s my body and I should feel comfortable in it and that can only be possible if I learn to love myself and think positively about it.
We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons. All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women.
Defend who you are
Being albino, big (fat) and female in the society in which we live can be very challenging. Hardly do I go through a day without hearing something derogatory ergo being albino,fat or female. Over the years I’ve learnt to love myself. I know everything created in God’s image is beautiful why then should someone’s ignorance (that’s how I see it) let me feel less beautiful? The life I’m living now is not a rehearsal. It’s the only chance I get so what then stops me from embracing who I am and living life to the fullest?
Hello! This is a continuation of a previous post: How well do we know our Bodies?
Please leave a comment on some of your personal tricks for overcoming insecurities😉.