How The Journey Began…

Hello You!

You’re here and I’m here! that only means one thing: it’s time to TalkBody. I want to share with you on this post  how the idea for what was to become Bodytalk came about.

Well, it was not a light-bulb moment as such. It took time, I think it was more of  a build-up of several little bits.

Let’s start with a few personal details: I’m the last child in family of eight and I’ve always been pretty much the odd one out.

I grew up disliking almost everything about myself: overweight, clumsy, bookworm that I am (I am much more, I promise!), but I didn’t really see that. It’s your typical nerd story, except  I wasn’t a typical nerd and of all the things I hated, my name ranked first (Who wants to be a fat girl named Fatima?? story for another day.) And mirrors, let’s not forget mirrors.

So while most teenage girls had to be tied up to stay home, my mom had to use threats and manipulation to get me to leave the house. I would rather stay curled up on the sofa with a book than be anywhere else. Let’s not even talk about dating; I dreaded relationships like the plague.

For years I convinced myself that I did this because I loved to and for no other reason. As I grew older I had to face the truth though: I’ll always like to be by myself, but fear had so much more to do with why I was antisocial.

Changes

Something happened that changed my mind though: I fell in love with myself. It wasn’t a momentary thing; it was a build-up of certain realizations, several books and an overall urge to end the 21 year self-hate rant. That was like two years ago when I became conscious of the positive changes in me.

Slowly I began look at my full lips as sexy instead of just thick, my skin as ebon instead of black, my butt as curvy instead of just big. I also accepted that I was always going to be a bookworm, a little weird and very clumsy. Besides I’m smart, funny, love music and can dance (that could compensate for everything else, I hope). Actually, I didn’t change at all, the way I saw myself changed and it made all the difference.

I became curious about my body, which led to self discovery which finally me landed in selfloveland (not like the place itself okay? may be just showed me the road…) and I’m working on it.

Seriously though…

All sounds like A B C right? not so. The reality is that there are two main things I can earmark as turning points in my story: a book and a boy. Yey for B!

1. The book: Every woman should read this book (yes it’s like billion pages, how about just the Chapter on Body Image?)   Our Bodies, Ourselves  opened my eyes to so many things that I thought I knew but actually had no idea about. It was my main inspiration for my Social Media campaign #10DaysofBodyTalk which I will talk about in my next post.
2. The Boy: Is it so strange? not really. Liking myself just a little allowed me the chance to push away my fear and allow someone just close enough. He challenged me, pushed me in ways he didn’t even know. He was always open, and seeking and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He made me question what I’d always simply accepted and ask for what I didn’t even know I needed.  I fought against myself, my fears and everything I had been before to reach the end of what I could be. He wasn’t the reason I started liking myself, but he’s a great part of why I still like me. Thank you, wherever you are now.

I fought against myself, my fears and everything I had been before to reach the end of what I could be.

What has anything got to do with anything??

I know right? I’ve just been rambling on about me but I guess that’s the point. BodyTalk is a personal journey, my journey which has become a shared journey with all the women who have touched me or have been touched by me. Hope you reading this will become one of them.

Until next time!